Sir Humphrey Appleby: "Well briefly, Sir, I am the Permanent Under Secretary of State, known as the Permanent Secretary. "James Hacker: "Let me make one thing perfectly clear: Humphrey is not God, OK."Bernard Woolley: "Will you tell him or shall I? James Hacker MP, a novelisation of the series, he spent his last days in St Dympna's Hospital for the Elderly Deranged, after the "advancing years, without in any way impairing his verbal fluency, disengaged the operation of his mind from the content of his speech," indicating that his speech had transitioned from merely sounding like overly verbose nonsense to actually being overly verbose nonsense. ", James Hacker: "You know what the average Common Market official is like? Margaret Thatcher said that Yes, Minister “has given me hours of pure joy”. "James Hacker: "File it? On Humphrey's possible private situation, Jonathan Lynn, one of the creators of Yes, Minister and Yes, Prime Minister, commented: "We always supposed that Sir Humphrey lived in Haslemere, had a son at Winchester and a daughter at Bedales and that his wife was a sensible woman who made cakes for church socials and enjoyed walking the family bulldog. The character was resurrected for the 2010 general election campaign in a series of short sketches on BBC Two's late evening current affairs programme Newsnight. Upon Nigel Hawthorne's death, the following appeared on the Editorial page of The Ottawa Citizen under the heading "No, Minister": "It is sadly that we report on Sir Nigel Hawthorne, elsewhere referred to as Sir Humphrey Appleby. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. On the whole, he had a slightly warmer relationship with his dog than his family. When? It's just like the United Nations, in fact. ", Bernard Woolley: "He's coming round now. ", [there has arisen the possibility of James Hacker becoming Prime Minister]Sir Numprey Appleby: "How would you feel about your present master as the next Prime Minister? “I foresee all sorts of unforeseen problems,” he once warned. "Sir Humphrey Appleby: "Yes, that is rather interesting. "James Hacker: "What appalling cynicism. Directly responsible to the Principal Private Secretary are plain Private Secretaries, and the Prime Minister will be appointing 2 Parliamentary Under Secretaries and you will be appointing your own Parliamentary Private Secretary. "James Hacker: "Nobody must ever be able to find it again. In past elections after polling day all but one of the party manifestos have been transformed in an instant from future vision to historical artefact. Foreign office is terribly pleased, it's just like old times. "James Hacker: "I wonder what made you think I didn't want to hear that? It's their substitute for achievement. Describing someone as informed when his Permanent Secretary is Sir Humphrey Appleby. If the British public liked that, so did its politicians: the script delighted even those whom it satirised. "James Hacker: "But if that's true, why is the foreign office pushing for higher membership? "James Hacker: "Don't you think of anything but money? "Bernard Woolley: "In that case, Minister, I think it's best I file it. ", [discussing property owned by the Department of Administrative Affairs]Sir Humphrey Appleby: "Ladysmith House is top secret. ", [the Minister asks for a different chair for his desk]Bernard Woolley: "It used to be said there were two kinds of chairs to go with two kinds of Ministers: one sort that folds up instantly, the other sort goes round and round in circles. I can just imagine Sir Humphrey Appleby on his deathbed, surround by wills and insurance claim forms, looking up and saying, 'I cannot go yet, God, I haven't done the paperwork.”, “Mrs Hacker was the only woman present. Woolley here is your Principal Private Secretary, I too have a Principal Private Secretary and he is the Principal Private Secretary to the Permanent Secretary. Yet the power dynamic between ministers and the civil service has certainly changed: since the Blair years, Hacker has increasingly given Sir Humphrey the slip and gone off on sprees of his own. "James Hacker: "But government figures are a nonsense anyway. The principal cast is as follows: [Discussing Trident with General Sir Guy Howard], Episode Three: The Skeleton in the Cupboard, Christmas at the Ministry (1982): "The Funny Side of Christmas", Episode Seven: The National Education Service, with the French and Italians against the Germans, with the French against the Germans and Italians, https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Yes,_Minister&oldid=2866509, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. "Sir Humphrey Appleby: "Minister, the traditional allocation of executive responsibilities has always been so determined as to liberate the ministerial incumbent from the administrative minutiae by devolving the managerial functions to those whose experience and qualifications have better formed them for the performance of such humble offices, thereby releasing their political overlords for the more onerous duties and profound deliberations which are the inevitable concomitant of their exalted position. "Bernard Woolley: "Then perhaps, if I may interject, you are in fact in agreement. "Sir Humphrey Appleby: "Well, it is within the gift of my Minister, and you would only put in appearances once or twice a month. In the last episode of Yes Minister, "Party Games", he becomes Cabinet Secretary, the most powerful position in the service and one he retains during Yes, Prime Minister. Hawthorne's portrayal won the BAFTA Award for Best Light Entertainment Performance four times: 1981, 1982, 1986 and 1987. "Sir Humphrey Appleby: "Yes, yes, yes, I do see that there is a real dilemma here. Politicians often formulate policy in headlines alone, with unworkable results. "James Hacker: "I don't want the truth. One, ignore it, two, file a protest, three, issue a statement condemning it, four, cut off aid, five, sever diplomatic relations, six, declare war. 1. Jim Hacker: I'd like a new chair. "Sir Humphrey Appleby: "I serve you, minister. Best of Sir Humphrey Appleby - Yes Minister Part 2 - YouTube ", [talking about the abbreviations of the honours CMG, KCMG and GCMG]Bernard Woolley: "Of course in the service, CMG stands for Call Me God. "Sir Desmond Glazebrook: "Can't understand it. "Sir Humphrey Appleby: "Well, I gather he was as drunk as a lord. Over the weekend our image of Whitehall civil servants has gained an added dimension from the story of the back-firing memo, "James Hacker: "What's an official reply? “He's a smooth-tongued, cold-eyed, hard-nosed, two-faced creep,' I said, trying to be fair. ", [on Hacker's planned visit to a inner city farm]Bill Pritchard: "The Sun specifically asked if you could be photographed amongst the donkeys. The sketches were written by Jay and Lynn, and Sir Humphrey was played by Henry Goodman. Jim Hacker: What appalling cynicism! They’d made her a sort of honorary man for the evening.”, “... a cynic is only a term used by an idealist to describe a realist.”. He frequently lectures the naïve Woolley in the realities of political matters. If they go out looking for information they might... oh well, they might..."James Hacker: "Jim Hacker:... find it? All episodes were written by Antony Jay and Jonathan Lynn. "[Humphrey nods], Sir Humphrey Appleby: "Politicians like to panic, they need activity. And that's topped up by the humour of the Belgians, the generosity of the Dutch and the intelligence of the Irish. In contrast the Liberal Democrats have plumped for the slightly less catchy Liberal Democrat Manifesto 2010, which at least does what it says on the tin. Sir Humphrey once observed of Hacker: “I sometimes think our minister doesn’t believe he exists unless he reads about himself in the papers.” Under Blair, and his press secretary Alastair Campbell, the courting and steering of media coverage often seemed more important than the substance of a policy. Sir Humphrey Appleby: Male, 50's-60's - Cabinet Secretary. "Sir Humphrey Appleby: "Splendid, I can see you're just the chap I'm looking for. All Quotes "Sir Humphrey Appleby: "Well you're a banker, surely you read the Financial Times? "Sir Humphrey Appleby: "Only if it is the decision you want. It is bound to be once it's there, isn't it? "[5], In Yes Minister, Sir Humphrey maintains a civil and outwardly deferential but fundamentally adversarial relationship with his new minister, Jim Hacker. '", Sir Humphrey Appleby: "Didn't you read the Financial Times this morning? The Dean of Baillie describes him as "too clever by half" and "smug" (The Bishop's Gambit). "Bernard Woolley: "God moves in a mysterious way. She's the secretary. Why else would there be an English Commissioner with a French Director-General immediately below him, and an Italian Chef-du-Division reporting to the Frenchman and so on down the line. Bernard Woolley: It used to be said there were two kinds of chairs to go with two kinds of Minister: one sort folds up instantly; the other sort goes round and round in circles. "Sir Humphrey Appleby: "It was in America, Bernard. He'd do anything to keep control. As a result, Sir Humphrey and Hacker often clash. [1] In Yes Minister, he is the Permanent Secretary for the Department of Administrative Affairs (a fictional department of the British government). However, he is equally quick to defend Woolley from outsiders. It was the persons who elected me. He still holds women to be the fairer sex and is thus overly courteous, frequently addressing them as "Dear lady". What do you think, Bernard? ", Sir Humphrey Appleby: "You see, the British foreign office has had the same basic goal for at least the last five hundred years, and that is to create a disunited Europe. 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